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The Jam, “Precious” When you listen to funk music, you’re almost physically compelled to get freaky.

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Pheromones and hot nights all wrapped up in a teased-out halo preserved in time through a haze of Aqua Net.

I’d last seen him over 15 years ago. He had been my first love and our relationship consisted mainly of awkward teenage fumblings in awkward locations. We skirted each other like matador and bull until alcohol and slow music led us to stumble against each other in a clumsy reunion. We lay there and reminisced about those awkward teenage fumblings until we partook of some very awkward something fumblings.

I knew he never would. Nights spent stalking the phone as a year-old had at least taught me he wasn’t the type to phone. But, it didn’t matter. This one-night stand had given me closure. My first love was no longer the boy who made my heart race like no other man had, ever since.

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